If your fic is 1000 words long, you can’t tag it slow burn. It’s not slow burn. That is a matchstick. And this is my personal bias here but if those motherfuckers you’re writing experience significant forward momentum in their relationship in under 5k words, then that is just a regular old burn. Slow burn should be borderline intolerable and a mistake to start reading at 2 in the morning.
If the fic doesn’t have multiple scenes where two people almost kiss but then don’t because of a contrived interruption that they are both grateful for and angry about, until the desperate reader is forced every other paragraph to mutter, “this is fucking ridiculous, this is bullshit, I’m so fucking mad, please update sooooooooooon,” then it isn’t a slow burn. It is a romance and that is a lovely thing but. Slow burns should feel like being set on fire unto your death but the tinder is people not kissing and the spark is people who don’t admit they love each other and the whole thing is. You know. Slow.
CORRECT
I once read a slow burn where the main pairing didn’t even speak to each other ontil 80k words in
This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever read and the only true slow burn fic
So I watched a playthrough of The Decent DLC on youtube, and that’s got me thinking about titans again….. What if Sandal is somehow connected to the titans.
Connected beyond the typical ‘The Stone’ way, but in a more physical aspect. We’ve already seen that a titans heart can grant dwarfs telekinetic powers or at least abilities similar to mages / magic. And in past games we have seen (seen the remnants) Sandal perform abilities and feats that would be difficult for anyone but a mage to do (freeze an Ogre in solid ice). He’s also given us foreshadowing and a ‘prophocy’ for future games (dai)
“Sandal: One day the magic will come back. All of it. Everyone will be just like they were. The shadows will part, and the skies will open wide.When he rises, everyone will see.”
That could possibly be about the Breach or Solas’s plans.
There’s also this little tid bit I thought that I should add from his wiki:
If Legacy is played after Hawke moves into the Hightown estate, Carta dwarves can be overheard talking about Sandal, saying he looks like an Aeducan bastard who went missing years earlier, whose mother was either an elf or a human.
Now if we take that into consideration, that Sandal is a half dwarf half elf/human, that could explain the magic. But wouldn’t that mean that Sandal might look more like an elf or a human? Not necessarily. That’s right guys, I found stuff on the wiki
Children between dwarves and humans are extremely rare because of the low fertility rate of dwarves in addition to the small chances of producing offspring with other races. Half-dwarves are shorter than humans but taller than dwarves. Furthermore, it is more often that such mating would happen with surface dwarves as such union would be heavily stigmatized in Orzammar.
Children between dwarves and elves are even more rare. Their offspring would be dwarven to all appearances
So if we look at a Sandal,
we see that he’s the same height as his father; so that leaves out the human as the option as his mother. Meaning we are left with an elf parent as the last option. Now if we assume that Sandal’s mother is an elf, we’d have to consider how Sandal would have been conceived. He was most likely the son of an Orzammar dwarf due to him being found in Orzammar (also given root to the Aeducan bastard mention above) But who would have had access to Orzammar from the surface. We see that Grey Wardens are allowed in there readily due to the whole deep roads and darkspawn business. And with their low fertility rates, we’re going to cross them out all together because that’s a low low low low low possibility. But what other profession would bring an elf to Orzammar? Trade. What other reason would someone, an outsider, come to Orzammar?
If we look into what country has the biggest trade pacts with Orzammar we can see that it is, in fact, Tevinter, due to its needs of lyrium. And we all know what the most likely ‘profession’, or class that an elf holds there: slave. If we are leaning onto probability here, I’d say that merchants from Tevinter came to Orzammar to seek out a shipment of lyrium. The merchants would have brought their slaves with them for the sake of labour. It should be mentioned that slaves are also seen a currency in Tevinter and can be used to pay off debts and given as presents.
Now if we jump to the Carta,
In recent years the Carta and its dealings have become a threat to even Orzammar itself as the “dusters” boldly walked the streets of Orzammar during the Fifth Blight, enacting an extortion and intimidation racket upon merchants in the Commons. Carta dwarves specialize in smuggling lyrium, weapons, and slaves, and they command a formidable racket in Dust Town, patronizing prostitutes, beggars, and businesses.
We can get a glimps of what could have transpired. Merchants from Tevinter came to get a shimpment of Lyrium (legal or not), someone couldn’t pay or they were pleased and ‘gifted’ the slave to the Carta who knew that an elf would stand out in an all dwarva society. So they had a few choices. Send them to a brothel, sell them back into slavery or outright kill them. But supposed they went with the brothel option for the time being and some dwarf came by and saw the ‘exotic’ beauty of an elf and laid with them and in the end conceived Sandal.
Understanding that if the father was a caste dwarf and the elf bore a son, the son would get the title as well. Seeing how a half breed would probably be treated with less respect and the father would lose some as well. The baby was placed int the deep roads like so many other children who were left there to die by their parents.
Left in the deep roads and exposed to vast amounts of lyrium, and due to his elven parent, his resistance wasn’t up to the same par as other dwarven children. Luckily though Bodhan saved the boy before the lyrium or deep roads could claim him. Or did they? We know that lyrium is really just the blood of the titans and that elves inherently have magic within their blood. What if the titan honed in on this. Realized it was dealing with one of its dwarven children that somehow had magic within their veins. What if the titan somehow gave Sandal the same or similar abilities to ones we saw in The Decent?
What if the titan gave Sandal the power for him to do all of what we’ve seen. What if Sandal has the power of a titan within him. A new titans heart.
Just a theory…..It went off track, but… nvm… Worse comes to worse Sandal is the Maker and we have to pay for an entire DLC to confirm that.
y’all: peter was able to stop bucky’s fist in civil war bc bucky heard peter’s voice, realized he was a child, then weakened his punch bc he was so worried about hurting a child uwu
me, eating pistachios: y’all know peter can canonically lift up to 75 tons, right. y’all know bucky’s fist is easy as hell for peter to block, right. y’all know bucky didn’t know shit about peter being a child and was just shocked that someone was able to so easily block his punch, right. y’all know that, right.
When you get sick of the world not ending so you decide to take matters into your own hands.
This is also why there’s such a push with American Christians to recognize Jerusalem as the capital and also why they don’t really care about the environment. They’re basically a death cult that thinks they can accelerate the world towards the book of revelation
The Vice President of the United fucking States is a huge proponent of this
It sounds funny, but they are literally trying to use Jews to trigger the armageddon, which they believe would cause all the Jews to die. Bullshit or not, its deeply rooted in antisemitism.
I’ve had a long respectable career in game development. A couple of years ago I’ve abandoned it for a cushy corporate job, and now spend most of my days missing gamedev.
This story takes place about 10 years ago at the apex of my career.
I was the lead on a AAA project. Our parent company, for which video games was just one of many lines of business, was going through changes. We had to move offices three times in one year. Second of the three moves, always intended to be temporary, put us into the basement of an older building long occupied by satellite departments not involved with development.
OR, maybe, just maybe, and hear me out here, MAYBE the actual reason is that not as many people in this day and age feel a pressing urge to spend money on mediocre food at an exploitative business just because some boobs are under a t-shirt in the same room?
This promise was an exciting novelty only to a pre-internet and wealthier generation which simultaneously felt far less shame in leering at or catcalling women but far more shame in looking at porn. Hooters was softcore pseudo burlesque for married Christian men and the culture permitting its success will likely never be repeated and shouldn’t be.
Hooters always seemed really weird for me for this exact reason. It’s like this bizarre fusion of strip club and family restaurant that no one asked for. The food isnt great, everyone is fully clothed, even the staff exists in a creepy limbo where they’re not actually strippers, but they’re only there because of their tits. Its like if someone decided to turn exploitation into a chain restaurant.
Millennials go to an actual strip club or burlesque show if that’s what they’re into, and then to a good wings bar after. There’s no need for a completely mediocre combination of the two
How dare they accuse us of not liking boobs. How dare