yourplayersaidwhat:

Context: My players recently learned how to create portals to other dimensions, but the bad guys have this power too. One player decides to chase a villain into a portal and rolls a nat 20 to follow them in.

Player: Ok, I’m through the gate. What do I see?

DM: You walk through and find yourself in an ice world. There’s a group of familar characters here (from a previous campaign), including one with brown hair who appears to be staring down at a mysterious glowing device in her hands.

Player: I call out to the group, “Hey! Do any of you know where General Mercedes went?”

DM: The girl with the phone looks up at you. “Mercedes? You mean the original character I made for my RPG campaign? As far as I know she only exists on paper.”

Player: Wait what

DM: You are face to face with me, the dungeon master.

Player: “Oh my gosh, just the person I wanted to see! Can you tell me where the general is?”

DM: I pass my phone to you. You are literally your character reading this chat between two real world people as it’s happening. “The general isn’t real, I made her up. She’s part of a role playing game, that we’re actually in the middle of playing right now.”

Player: I’ve never seen a phone before so I’m going to throw the glowing devil square on the ground and start screaming. “Role… playing… game??? Where am I? What kind of sick game is this!?”

galpalaven:

i can’t stop thinking about newlywed garrus and sun like. trying to figure out how to be married

shepard’s only just been released from the hospital and she doesn’t need help walking so much anymore, but going out for a picnic or something isn’t quite something she has the energy for (she spent months and months laying in a hospital bed after all–she’s got a ways to go before she’s fit enough to go for a jog or anything like that)

they’ve found a little cottage on the coast somewhere. his family and her family visit regularly, but everyone agrees it’s best that shepard be out of the public eye for a while. she doesn’t need the stress.

garrus is panicky, though, because they’re spending so much time together and he just knows he’s going to get something wrong, so he starts looking up things for newlyweds to do together (or at least, things human newlyweds do together) 

strolls along the beach at sunset? he can do that (she finds it relaxing, even though they never go far, but she likes to hold his hand with their mismatched fingers intertwined and let the waves wash over her feet, let the ocean breeze comb its fingers through her hair–“it makes me feel alive,” she says once). 

set her up with a nice bath with candles and rose petals (whatever those were)? okay sure (she gives an elated little laugh when he shows her, though she complains that they’ll need to buy a house with a bigger tub to fit the both of them someday).

that’s when he comes across the ‘cook a meal together’ suggestion. it’s highly recommended–things like baking cookies being at the top of the list. and it does sound fun, but they can’t eat the same food so? how would that work? he could order out, maybe, and help her cook something? 

he asks shepard eventually because he’s desperate and worried she’s going to get bored of him and she only thinks for a few brief moments before she says, “we can still cook together–we’ll just cook separate meals.”

and that’s all it takes. they go grocery shopping together the next day, turn up the radio, crack open a bottle of neutral chirality wine (because they should still share something) and get cooking. their kitchen is tiny, so there’s a lot of almost dancing as they have to get around each other for something. by the time they’re finished, dinner is ready, and she’s got a pretty flush across her cheeks–either from the alcohol or from giggling so much, he’s not sure.

while they eat, she bumps her real foot against his under the table, smiles sweetly when he looks up at her. “we’ll be okay, garrus. this is going to work.”

and she’s right. she’s scarred and missing pieces (but so is he, in truth, even if he’d managed to keep his injured leg in the end) and her hair is shorter than he’s ever seen it but she’s smiling more than ever, with the weight of the galaxy off her shoulders, and as the sunset lands across her face just so her eyes light up the color of whiskey in the sun, he’s struck by just how beautiful she is and how lucky they are to be sitting here still, to have made it through everything.

“yeah,” he says faintly after a moment, reaching for her hand. “we’ll be fine.”

her grin widens a little more and she adds, “we always are.”

mirax3163:

Commissions open

So just a heads up post that as of now I am open for commissions/freelance work. Just recently realized that I’m kind of broke now so I need to start looking for other sources of income. I’ve also been back into drawing lately so I figured opening commissions again made sense. You may request any style from any commissions post i have made since january 2017. I will be putting a new one together hopefully this weekend to have all info available in one place. I am also open to negotiating a freelance piece with you, in which you can decide the level of finish and content you want, and I can give you estimates, etc. Basically if you want something beyond my commission formats this is what to ask about. Ill keep you guys posted.

winterdenim:

disneysmermaids:

cherribalm:

site that you can type in the definition of a word and get the word

site for when you can only remember part of a word/its definition 

site that gives you words that rhyme with a word

site that gives you synonyms and antonyms

THAT FIRST SITE IS EVERY WRITER’S DREAM DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I’VE TRIED WRITING SOMETHING AND THOUGHT GOD DAMN IS THERE A SPECIFIC WORD FOR WHAT I’M USING TWO SENTENCES TO DESCRIBE AND JUST GETTING A BUNCH OF SHIT GOOGLE RESULTS

Reblog to save sanity!

cohobbitation:

andhumanslovedstories:

so do you think Krem opted to go by Krem, or when he told the injured, partially blinded Iron Bull who had just saved him that his name was Cremisius, Bull just raised his bleeding head and said “krem puff, krem brulee, krem de la krem, krispie krem, krem cheese, heavy whipping krem, ice krem, ice krem sundae, krem of wheat, krem of tartar, coffee with krem, banana and krem pie, wu tang clan’s K.R.E.M.”

and Krem is like, “oh so you actually are concussed”

“those are just the nicknames I can whip up off the top of the ole dome, join my mercenary crew, I wanna see how long I can keep this going”

“you’ve already used up all the puns. look at the pun box. it’s empty.”

“first off kremsicle, don’t ever doubt me.”

#bull and varric bond over being nicknamers#but fundamentally disagree on the nicknaming philosophy#‘you pick one nickname and call them that for a decade’ versus ‘every day is a bold new challenge to piss off my second in command’