Here’s to ten years of Mass Effect
Tag: ryder
Weird Human Things
Breastfeeding
Jaal: Human females seem more… Curvy than their male counterparts..
Ryder: Are you asking why we have breasts?
Jaal: …Perhaps.
Ryder: *Laughs* They’re for feeding babies.
Jaal: What?
Ryder: Our mammary glands produce milk for babies!
Jaal:…
Baby teeth
Jaal: Humans have multiple sets of teeth?
Ryder: Well, kind of. We’re born with no teeth, we grow a set of ‘baby’ teeth. Then in childhood all those teeth fall out and our permanent set grow in. It can be painful and bloody.
Jaal: That sounds terrifying.
Static hair
Jaal: Ryder your hair is floating
Ryder: Oh, yeah that happens sometimes.
Jaal: *confused cat face*…What!?!
Blushing
Jaal: Ryder! Your colors are changing!
Ryder: It’s just hot Jaal. Humans turn red sometimes.
Jaal: So, this is normal?
Ryder: Kind of. Blushing can signify distress, but It’s usually no big deal.
Jaal: Distress? Are you not well?
Ryder: I’m fine Jaal, it’s just hot here
*Sometime later after certain saucy scenes*
Jaal: Ryder, Are you in distress?! Your colors!
Ryder: *Laughs* No Jaal, I’m fine.
Freckles
Jaal: Why do some humans have spots while others do not?
Ryder: Spots?…Oh, you mean Freckles.
Jaal: Freckles?
Ryder: Yeah, just genetics. Some human’s just have…spots. *Ryder smiles*
Talk and Walk
Jaal: Why is Liam pacing the ship?
Ryder: He’s on a call Jaal.
Jaal: ??????
Ryder: Oh, human’s like to lap their homes while on calls.
Talking to animals
Pyjak: *squeak*
Ryder: *Squeak!*
Jaal: What are you-
Ryder: Shhh! I’m talking to my child.
Jaal: ?!?!?!
Microwave
*Liam sprints desperately to the kitchen*
Jaal: What’s going on?
Ryder: *dead serious* He has to stop the microwave before it hits zero or it explodes.
Jaal: WHY WOULD HUMANS DESIGN SUCH A FAULTY DEVICE?!?!
Ryder: *Laughing*
Jaal: an…Idiom?
ME: A
Mass Effect Andromeda: *makes any reference to the previous games*
Me: *delighted pterodactyl screaming*